I apologize for not staying on top of my blog the last couple of weeks, I feel like I have been going non stop since the first event of the season. I have had lots of ups and downs since my last post in both my performances and my emotions. So I am dedicating this blog to finding balance.
Its not like I didn’t know the fickle nature of the game prior to pursing this career however I feel like the stakes are higher now and in order to stay on top of my game I need to find a balance when it comes to dealing with the good, the bad and the ugly. For the most part I see myself as a positive, optimistic person but this game can drag the best of us down if we don’t take charge of our mind.
Last week I participated in my first LPGA Symetra event at Atlanta National Golf Club. Throughout the week from Monday-Friday (unfortunately my week was cut short), I can safely say I experienced an array of emotions from pure joy to total despair. Now I’m not a psychologist but I’m pretty sure this does not help you play successfully at a high level. As the week progressed I went from feeling on top of the world and felt like it was time to shine, to feelings of self-doubt and uncertainty.
Obviously, this was not how I would have liked my first event to go but after taking a step back and analyzing what I need to improve for my next tournament, I feel much better. I know I have the game to compete at this level and higher I just have to believe it and never stop,regardless of the situation. It wasn’t until I was playing on a ‘bigger stage’ that these feelings became more apparent.
In order to improve my self-belief I need to put myself in pressure situations and learn how to deal with the feelings that arise when I’m in them. That is the only way to improve; I cannot shy away from competition and hope that my game stands up under the gun. Those nerves you get when you step on the first tee in a tournament or sink a putt to take the lead have to become as ‘normal’ as possible. I know nerves will never go away but I need to know that it is ok to have them and it’s a natural reaction to pressure. The more times I can experience them I know I will become better at responding to them.
It would be easy for me to look at the poor results I have had recently and give up, but there are too many great opportunities being handed to me for a reason and I know I need to stay patient and keep pushing on because my time will come and it will all be worth it.
I look forward to putting my words into practice at my next LPGA Symetra event at Capital Hills, Albany, NY. You can follow my progress by using this link below.